Contemplating the stars above

"Do not complain under the stars of the lack of bright spots in your life"

                                                                                    - Henrik Wergeland

When I was 4 years old, I was allowed to stay out after dark. And one of those evenings, the skies were clear. And I could see the stars. While the other kids on my street were playing, I was transfixed by the sight above my head. I ran inside to ask my mom. What were those lights? She told me they were suns. Far away. My young mind was blown for the first time. Even at the age of 4, I understood that they needed to be very far away. 

Ever since that evening, the universe has continued to fascinate and thrill me. And for the past few years, I have also realized that it has been a source of therapy through my life. On multiple occasions, when I have been on a highpoint in my life, standing under a starry sky, has been a source of joy. And during the lowest points in my life, when the emotional pain has seemed unbearable, I have been standing under the stars. Dreaming away to another place. Another life. 

I once stood by my fathers grave. And I was suddenly aware of a familiar sound. The sound of the waterfalls of the rivers running down the steep sides of the mountain nearby. I grew up with those sounds. When the snow melted or when the rainstorms hit, their waters crashed down. My father brought his small family to this town when I was a small child. 30 years later, I carried him to his final resting place. In this town he met successes and failures. He worked hard and supported his family. Built a home with his own hands. 30 years after he arrived, his life was over. The sound of the rivers reminded me of the short time we spend on this earth. My father's life may have been full. But to the rivers, it was a mere blink of an eye.

Every time I have been to Namibia, just watching the stars with a naked eye has been soothing to me. Their brilliant shine is the same now as the first time I glimpsed them almost 50 years ago. Compared to my life, they are eternal. They look the same now as they did when Jesus walked on Earth 2000 years ago. Eternity imprinted on the dark skies above.

This time around, for a personal reason I will not reveal, the starry skies above held a special significance. And one of the nights, when everybody else had gone to bed, I stood there for a long time. Thinking. With mixed feelings. Both in pain and in gratitude. The stars above has for the past few years gotten a new meaning in my life. And their shine has been forever changed to my eyes.

And that new meaning will be with me all my days.